NOTEBOOKS

       These are pages from my Notebooks, where images and ideas are sketched in preparation for larger canvases. Hence, most of the source imagery sketched here can also be found, in one form or another, in my paintings (for reference, the painting will appear in a separate window when you click on the title). Meanwhile, you may see the source-images in detail and even read the text if you view the Notebook pages 'extra large' (be prepared for a large download). Most of the ideas jotted down on these pages have ended up in my autobiography, The Journey Thus Far, which expands them significantly. This work can be accessed in Writings or where indicated below.

       One night while living in Vienna, I dreamt two paintings. They were arranged as a diptych, with Christ crucified on a wheel inscribed with the Alpha and Omega, and the Madonna standing before the wheel of St. Catherine breaking apart into many pieces. This was the first time a visionary work of art had appeared to me in a dream.
       The next morning, I made these two sketches, which flowed from my hand almost effortlessly. Strangely, I only noticed - after drawing them - that the Madonna is pregnant with the Christ-child. At present, I am executing two very large paintings of these two intuitive images, called Christus Mysticus and Madonna Mystica. The possible meaning of these symbols is explored in The Journey Thus Far. To see the progress of these works, go to Works in Progress.

       On the left are a few sketches and quotations concerning the figures of Kali and Quetzlcoatl which appear to the left and right of Christ in The Harrowing of Hell.
       On the right is a preparatory page for Christ Alchemist depicting the four versions of Christ present in the work: Christ child, crucified, resurrected, and judge.

       In these preparatory drawings, the various elements that compose Christ Alchemist can be seen. In the left drawing, the alchemical apparatus from the Cabala Mineralis manuscript, the rose-within-rose medallion, and the gryphon and caduceus from Sumerian sources. In the right drawing, various Byzantine and personal references are worked out. For more information, see the section on iconography in The Journey Thus Far.

THE PASSION AND MOURNING
OF DAMUZI-CHRIST

Combining the texts of
The Enuma Elish and The Gospels

And there followed a great multitude of people
and of women who bewailed and lamented him

They pressed close around him
They pinioned him by the arms
And covered his face with a mask of agony
Plaiting a crown of thorns, they put it on him
They slashed his thighs with knives
Pierced his side with a spear,
And at once there came out blood and water.
He held up his hands to the sun in heaven
And they crucified him

Now from the sixth hour until the ninth hour.
There was darkness over all the land
And about the ninth hour, he cried with a loud voice
The shepherd's heart was full, out in the barren land
He wept, and then, yielded up his spirit.

And behold, the curtain of the temple tore in two
And the earth shook, and the rocks were split,
A tall tree overturned, alone in the wood,
Water was spilled, tipped from its stand
The churn fell, the crook was lost,
And, with broken forelegs, the ram pawed at the ground.
Now, only the wind will play the shepherd's pipe.

There were many women there, looking on from afar,
Among them, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother, and Salome
Who is your sister? I am she. Who is your mother? I am she.
Mary Magdalene stood weeping. Woman, why are you weeping?
Because they have taken away my Lord. Hark the piping!
My heart is piping in the wilderness, an instrument of grief
He is dead and has left me, my husband!
She gazed at her brother, then tore her cheeks,
She lacerated her mouth, ripped up her dress for agony,
And let out a loud cry of desolation.

There can be no answer to her desolate calling
It is echoed in the wilderness.
Though the grass will shoot from the land,
I am not grass, I cannot come to her calling.
Though the waters will rise for her,
I am not water to come for her wailing,
I am not shoots of grass in a dead land.
Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies,
It remains alone, a single reed, standing alone.
But if it dies, it bears much fruit.

Thus it is written that the Christ should suffer
And on the third day rise from the dead